If you are in a hurry...
Baby loves you, don't worry about it. There may be times when you don't have his full attention or good mood because of:
- d’une absence prolongée d’un parent
- an educational role VS a recreational role
- natural affinities
This is only temporary!
Baby doesn't smile at you, rejects you, seems to prefer his other parent. Does he finally like you? This is a natural question to ask. Above all, rest assured, he loves you! Stay with us to discover the reasons for his behavior. .
A parent's or another person's preference
Are these situations familiar to you?
It seems that he prefers one parent to the other! But is it really a preference?
Don't worry, it's normal for baby to have periods when he "prefers" other people to you. It's a common occurrence. We know this saddens you, but there's no room for ego!
This is only temporary. The length of time varies depending on your child's personality or daily life.
What's more, your baby has HIS or her own attachment figure who is needed from birth. And it's usually his mother, the person who spends the most time with him! It is therefore with you that the bond is strongest and with whom he feels safe. Know that babywearing in wraps or carriers encourages the creation of this magnificent bond of unfailing attachment despite appearances.
Learn more about : Attachment theory
Why is baby different with me?
Well, it depends! You spend all day with baby and yet it's the nanny he smiles at? And you, you have the honor to his excesses of anger?
Unfair! But he is reassured by your side and still considers you as a part of him. Don't doubt yourselves as parents, soon he won't be able to let you out of his sight.
However, there are several reasons for this "preference":
- prolonged absence
- a parent who is more "strict" than the other: dad is there to play and mom is there to set the rules, or vice versa (it's easier to go for what's fun and easy, right?)
- natural affinities
There are no real rules, each child is different and the family environment inevitably impacts your relationships.
If you practice babywearing, your baby is stuck to you and you respond perfectly and quickly to his needs. He trusts you and does not need to attract your attention. It's already very beautiful, isn't it?
I discover : the benefits of babywearing
What to do then?
No room for jealousy (yes, we try!). We try instead:
Take a step back
Complaining, sadness or jealousy is natural. However, taking a step back from the situation and questioning yourself remains the best thing to do.
Bye to the negative feelings and energies that will certainly not make this phase pass more quickly.
Do not encourage preference
If you are the lucky one, don't consciously or unconsciously encourage the situation: "So we prefer mom/dad?". And vice versa, if you are the unlucky one in the story.
Leave room for each parent
Even if baby wants to spend time with one person, let the other parent take their place.
One day it's daddy giving the bath, the next day it's mommy. Take a walk in a baby carrier with one parent and then the other one on another day to relax.
Share the pleasant and unpleasant moments, don't have only one role per parent figure :)
Have confidence in yourself and in him
Don't give up, trust yourself and continue to take care of him while adding light moments of play and laughter.
Above all, don't be ashamed and don't judge yourself too harshly. We all go through these moments of doubt and questioning. We are not perfect but as long as we give our unconditional love and care, we will be fine!
If the situation tends to really last, don't hesitate to ask for advice from a psychologist or a child psychiatrist who will find underlying reasons and adapted solutions to help you.