The arrival of a baby has changed your daily life and your sex life is no exception. Even during pregnancy, your sexuality fluctuated according to hormones and opportunities. So after giving birth, it's perfectly normal for your libido to take a bit of a hit.
Let's find out together when, why and how you can get back on the road to sex after pregnancy with pleasure and G-E-N-T-L-E-N-E-S-S.
When is it possible to have sex after childbirth?
We can't give you an exact rule to follow. Obviously you have to let your body heal and your uterus close up.
An indicative period of 3 to 6 weeks is given.
This can be longer if the birth had complications such as an episiotomy or a tear. The key is to feel ready!
It is important to know that penetration is not an end in itself, other practices can replace it and satisfy your desires.
If you are in a hurry, please listen to your wife, be patient and understanding. At the moment, a small human being has irrepressible needs that must be satisfied within a minute. Wait a few weeks, you will survive (hopefully).
Why can it be difficult to get your sexuality back?
There are many reasons why it can take a while to get back to having sex as you did before pregnancy.
Pain and scarring
Childbirth is a magical experience, but it also brings its share of discomfort. Whether it is a vaginal delivery or a caesarean section, the woman's body suffers a great shock.
Scars, stitches, pain... it naturally takes time for the body to recover. So, dear mothers, take care of yourself first and dear fathers, support them very strongly.
The perineum also needs to be retrained because it has lost its elasticity. So don't underestimate this step for your own pleasure and comfort :)
It is important to know that after childbirth, the drop in hormones can cause a sharp decrease or even a halt in vaginal secretions. This dryness makes sexual relations even more painful for women.
Loss of libido
The sensations are no longer the same, you have no sexual desire... Don't panic, this is completely normal and we are all different when it comes to this.
Fatigue, hormones, going from being a woman to being a mother, a man to being a father... All of this has an impact on your libido.
It's not just for women, it can be for men too! Childbirth can be traumatic. Seeing his wife suffer, associating her body with distressing images can also be upsetting for the man.
Difficulty in accepting your post-pregnancy body
Seeing your body change during pregnancy is one thing, but seeing it after the birth is another. Pregnancy kilos, a sagging stomach, dark circles 10 meters long due to the short nights... All these elements can reduce your self-confidence.
However, you are beautiful ladies, you have just given birth, give yourself time :)
Loss of self-confidence and difficulty adapting to the role of parent
We go to school for most of our lives and yet there is no school for parenting. Baby cries, you feel helpless... In short, confidence is waning and the desire to make love is not there.
Carrying your baby in a sling or a baby carrier allows you to have him/her close to you at all times and is very reassuring. It even establishes the first forms of communication between the child and his parent, which allows you to gain confidence in his abilities, which are innate in you :)
So let's trust yourself, ok ?
See : My baby cries all the time: is it normal?
Our advice for a fulfilling post-partum sex life
1. Give yourself time!
It doesn't matter if it takes 3 weeks or 8 weeks. Listen to your body and your desires!
If this disturbs you and after 6 months, the activity does not resume, do not hesitate to talk to your gynaecologist, midwife or sexologist. There may be a psychological cause.
2. Taking care of yourself and the other person
The postpartum period can be difficult for both partners. It is important to take care of each other: tender gestures, compliments, signs of love, everything is good to rediscover each other and support each other in this time of change.
3. Taking time out for just the two of you
Baby is here and demands all your time. We know that. BUT, don't forget to make time for both of you. Whether he is sleeping or being looked after, give yourself these moments just for the two of you to remain man and woman and not just mum and dad, it's important :)
You are parents but not only. This is why we have made it our credo to design our babywearing products.
4. Find positions that don't put pressure on the lower abdomen
Lubricant is already very important to avoid pain due to intimate dryness. It is also important to think about the most suitable positions to avoid pain.
Face to face, lying down or standing positions are recommended to be able to enjoy each other's company.
You will know what suits you best anyway :)